SUKKEL-VOORT - LIVING WITH GRIEF

Today we laid to rest a very dear friend. He was 73 years old. He lived a long, happy and fruitful life. He left a legacy of hard work and dedication. It was an honor to have known him and to be able to stand with his family as they laid their loved one to rest...  Being there was hard because just 7 months ago we were in the exact same church and at the exact same cemetery to say farewell to our little Judah. Memories of that day came flooding in... the emotions were as fresh today as they were then, but somehow today I was reminded of God's faithfulness... WOW! Saying that surprised me. I thought that I was going to write about the doom and gloom of the last 7 months but rather I want to say "THANK YOU LORD FOR YOUR FAITHFULNESS" . There were times when I doubted... times that I just wanted to hide my head and never face the world, but somehow, and I am really not sure how, but God pulled me through. We are still very much in pursuit of healing... or something that

  For the last few weeks I have been feeling very cranky. The slightest little thing drives me into a rage... the positive side is that have been able to control my anger and have not exploded on anyone, yet... You see they (the clever people) tell me that this is a stage or a phase that is normal during grieving. That somehow this "abnormal" is normal ... I hate it!  Death has taken so much from me... now it's imposing feelings upon me that I do not want in my life. In fact, feelings that I do not need in my life. What use could I possible have for anger in my life right now? It feels like such a useless emotion... The worse is that I do not even know what exactly I am angry at. It just feels like I am angry at life ... Angry at the decisions I made in life... the decisions I did not make... people... situations... aaagh! Everything annoys me! What's the use? I really hate this feeling! Yes... I did say hate... it is how I feel... and now I am angry that I

It was a great weekend, but it was also a tough weekend. You see, there are some important people, events and or things that remain with us forever...  This weekend (31 October) was Purley and Mikey's wedding celebrations. This was a very special... Both Mikey and Purley are very special to us and they both shared a very special bond with Judah.  They looked especially gorgeous and the wedding was special.  It was a beautiful day and the ceremony and festivities went down incredibly well and we pray that the Lord will continue to Bless them and increase His favour upon their lives... They certainly deserve it. For a moment, I think, I was able to convince my heart that it was okay to be happy...  However, in the midst of the perfection of the day... the happiness felt somewhat empty without my little Judah.  I wonder if it will always be this way. Will everything in life always contain the very present absence of Judah?  Will even the greatest moments we share