"Living in the light makes it easier to sing in the storm." (Rev Christopher Saaiman) These words have been ringing in my ears ever since I heard them. So I got up Sunday morning very intentional about singing through the storm. It was the first Mother's day without Judah, I knew it was going to be a difficult day, but I was gonna put on a brave face and sing through the storm. But my faith let me down (or so it seemed) when I could not convince my heart that The Light didn't cause the storm. You see it was easy to convince my heart to sing when I could conveniently blame someone or something else for the storms within my life... but when my theology or understanding of God and what God does or allow doesn't match the neat boxes that I created, it all falls apart. Grief is messy... It is messing up all of what I believe to be true, true about God and true about myself. You see... I was deceiving myself thinking that I was gonna sing through the storm.
This blog is essentially about my grieving process, but occasionally I just write about how I process life and Faith! I hope this will help someone!