It is 11 Months since we lost our son. He drowned in the pool at our home. We had all the illusions of safety. We kept the faith... taught the kids the joy and dangers of swimming, kept the doors to pool closed, etc. Yet in the midst of ALL the precautions Judah got out to the pool somehow... and so began the most painful chapter in our lives, yet. After Judah died I put up the pool net.... not just of the physical pool at our home, but to the pool I dare to call my life. Occasionally I would venture out to swim in the pool of my life, but today, like most days ... I find myself grasping for air. You see, I have fallen into the pool of fear ... fear not of life or even death, but the fear of loosing . I find myself holding on to everyone and everything I hold dear. So much so that I feel like I am drowning in the fear of loss and I might be dragging everyone down with me. I fear loosing my mind... not being able to rationalize my thinking... loosing my theology... not being able
This blog is essentially about my grieving process, but occasionally I just write about how I process life and Faith! I hope this will help someone!