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In my brokenness

Psalm 55:6 

And I say, “Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest;(ESV)
Today I felt like running away. I felt the pain was just unbearable. How will I ever shake this pain? If only I had wings to fly away.

I attended our Church Synod and part of the meeting was the celebration of the call of people in the ministry of word and sacrament. As I was listening to a young man articulate his calling into the ministry it dawned on me that I might never be able to articulate the real sense of brokenness I feel inside of me, but one thing that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt is that my God is with me. It is He who called me to touch the lives of others... even if it is only in my brokenness. Henri Nouwen writes, “The man who articulate the movements of his inner life, who can give names to his varied experiences, need no longer be a victim of himself, but is able slowly and consistently to remove the obstacles that prevent the spirit from entering. He is able to create space for Him whose heart is greater than his, whose eyes see more than his, and whose hands can heal more than his.” (The Wounded Healer: Ministry in Contemporary Society)

So here I end my day with tears flowing down my cheeks, coming to terms with the brokenness that is in and around me. Brokenness that I might never be able to understand or explain completely, yet I will endeavour to no longer be a victim, allowing my tears to be the balm that will bring some healing for others... The Lord being my helper!

So I end my thoughts today with the thoughts of Henri Nouwen, "The great illusion of leadership is to think that man can be led out of the desert by someone who has never been there."
― Henri J.M. Nouwen, The Wounded Healer: Ministry in Contemporary Society

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