Here I am again

Here I lie again... I thought I conquered it. I did so well, or so I thought. I burried my pain and sorrow deep within... I hid it behind my busy schedule, behind my new adventure, behind my new friendships, behind my spirituality... behind... way behind everything so deep that I thought it would never surface again. I got rid of it once and for all, but it's not that easy is it? You see  as much as I can pretent or as much as I may want to avoid the pain and sorrow it is always nearby.

So here is my new, new plan. No more hidding... no more pretending... here I am... Again...😟

Tonight I miss my boy... more then ever. I feel the need to cry, but my tears are all dried up. All I feel is pain... the pain is pearcing through my back, my neck, my shoulders and my feet. My heart feels empty and my arms feel weak. I dont know how to deal with all this... as much as I experience this physical pain I know that it is mere a physical manifestation of what I have been avoiding for much too long.

So dear friends reading this blog with me... please hear my plea... Don't ever loose sight of your real emotions. Feeling pain... experiencing sadness is no less valid than joy or peace. Allow yourselves to feel... express yourself, even if only in the privacy of a journal or confession.

The only way to get to the otherside of an emotion is to feel it and deal with it.

I know it is not always easy to do but you don't have to face it alone...reach out to friends, family and loved-ones. They might not always know what to say or do, but we dont need answers... We need companionship and companionship starts by us being real and reaching out.

I pray for you as I hope you are praying for me. Thanx for listening.