An open letter to my Daughter

Jathni-el, (my gift from God) 

I am counting the hours now until you embark on this incredible journey…  
 
Ek wou nog altyd ‘n dogter gehad het. My eie stukkie perfeksie. The plan was that I would hold you close, protect you from every evil and have you with me all the time… maar dit werk mos nie so nie.  
 
As a parent all I could do was to devote my life to preparing you for independence, teaching you to make your own decisions… To put your faith in God and pursue your passion. This I tried to do to the best of my abilities.  
 
NOW, when the moment arrives to release you and let you venture beyond my comfort zone, it feels as though I must set up a blockade to hold you forever in my arms. Smaak en kan n time-out call… Sê, 'tyd staan stil ek wil nie my Princess laat gaan nie…' But the truth is, all I can do is hold you in my heart and place you in God's loving arms.
 
Daddy's Princess, as you pursue your missionary calling, I pray you discover a deeper level of joy in serving God. That joy sustains you when life and ministry gets tough. I pray that Father will bless and sustain you every step of the way.
 
Always remember that I have your back; I am on my knees praying for you. I loved you from the moment we prayed and asked God to gift us with a baby girl and I will love you forever.  
 
We have done what we could to prepare you. You got this! YOU ARE MORE THAN READY TO ACHIEVE WHAT YOUR HEART DESIRES AND GOD PUROSED YOU FOR… it’s all up to you and God. Embrace this journey with faith and courage knowing that your Daddy is here when you need him.  
 
As you step into this new chapter, I want you to carry with you the lessons of love and faith that we have shared. Life will present challenges, but remember that your strength comes from your relationship with God. He is always with you, guiding you through every twist and turn. Jy kan altyd op die Here staat maak.  
 
Your mission is not just about spreading the word; it’s about embodying the love of Christ. In every act of kindness, in every moment of service, you reflect the heart of God. This is the essence of your calling.
 
Know that my love for you is unwavering. It is not contingent upon your successes or failures. You are my daughter, and that bond is forever. As you navigate this journey, I will be here, cheering you on and lifting you up in prayer.
 
You are stepping into a world that needs your light. Shine brightly, my dear, and trust that you are equipped with everything you need to make a difference.
 
With all my love, love you always
 
Daddy

Random Faith Ramblings

I have come to realize that tragedy and strife often cause us to reflect and re-evaluate.

I have had a bit of time to relook and reimagine life and faith. I have come to some kind of certainty that it is time for us (the Church) to have an honest conversation about the nature of our being and ministry. It is time for us to recognize and step up to the fact that the ministry and faith that we live and proclaim are not about our selfish needs and desires. As a Church, we are called to a higher purpose, a mission that extends beyond our personal desires and ambitions.

The concept of the Missio Dei, the Mission of God, should shape and guide our understanding of ministry and faith. It is a concept that transcends our individual aspirations and egos. When we truly embrace the Missio Dei, we come to understand that our mission is not about building our own kingdoms or satisfying our personal agendas. It is about participating in the larger work of God in the world.

As we reflect on the omnipotent nature of God, the Pantokrator, we must recognize that our ministry is not limited by our own human capabilities or desires. Instead, it is rooted in the all-powerful and all-encompassing nature of God. Therefore, our ministry should be conducted with humility and a deep sense of reverence for the authority and sovereignty of God.

We need to move beyond our own ambitions and desires and focus on serving others selflessly. Our ministry should be driven by compassion, empathy, and a genuine desire to bring about positive change in the lives of those we interact with. It is about meeting the needs of others, spreading love, and offering hope to those who are in despair.

As we realign our understanding of Ministry with the Missio Dei and the concept of Pantokrator, it is crucial that we reevaluate our priorities and motivations. Are we seeking to fulfill our own needs and desires, or are we committed to serving others and advancing the mission of God in the world?

Let us strive to embody the selfless and sacrificial love demonstrated by Jesus Christ, who came not to be served, but to serve. Let us commit ourselves to a ministry that is rooted in humility, compassion, and a deep reverence for the mission of God. May our actions and attitudes reflect the selflessness and transformative power of the Missio Dei.

It is time to call the church to order, to remind ourselves of the true nature of our ministry, and to recommit ourselves to selfless service and the mission of God.

I hope my random ramblings, at the very least, calls us to rethink and re-imagine our Faith and Minstry

Blessings

I miss you

My dear son Judah, born so small and sweet. Your presence in our lives was such a blessing. Today would have been your tenth year on Earth, but instead of celebrating your presence, we celebrate your precious worth.

 You were certainly gone too soon. My heart still aches, my soul still sinks. I miss your laughter, your smile, your touch. I miss you so much, my heart hurts so much. 

Your short life made a lasting impact, it's true, you taught me more than I ever taught you. 

You showed me the strength in a smile and you'll forever be my baby boy. 

I wish I could hold you, just one more time... Tell you I love you, that you are mine, but instead, I'll hold you in my heart each day. 

I'll cherish the memories in every way... 

My dear son Judah, I miss you So, but in my heart, your spirit will always live. I will smile today... I will step out courageous... In memory of you. 

Happy 10th birthday, my precious boy. You'll forever bring me love, light, and joy.

 

Desiree' birthday

 https://we.tl/t-TrTOkYpLpQ?src=dnl

Church!

Recently, I was reminded of a question I heard when I got appointed to my first Congregation (maybe I should say first group of congregations 🙈 that is a story for another day). The question was, "Would the community notice if your Congregation closed in the Community". It raises the question as to your congregation’s effectiveness and or relevance in the community that it is situated in. Should we be concerned with being effective or relevant in the community?

I hear people say all the time, "Stop going to Church, Be Church". Sounds nice, but what does it mean and how does that mentality or state of being influence the Communities in which we serve. Should it effect or influence the community?

One of my favourite quotes is by Henri Nouwen, "The great illusion of leadership is to think that man can be led out of the desert by someone who has never been there."

Sounds like a nice thing to say or maybe even a good excuse not to be led by others (that doesn't have the same, difficult, experiences as you but it rings very true as to the witness and effectiveness of the Church. We (the Church) should not hesitate to be vulnerable. 

Church is more than the buildings and programs that we run. Church is the people of God living Christ! We are a bunch of imperfect people that discovered a perfect Saviour and that shares Christ with those we encounter. This means that we make a mark in community, whether we want to or not... by virtue of just loving Christ we impact community. By sharing in people's joys and vulnerabilities we impact communities. The issue that the Church should continually be wrestling with is about how much we know and let Christ be known.

This is ever so true now... The Covid 19 pandemic managed force us to re-think who we are as the Church… business as usual has been halted and Church as usual, I think, has forever been altered… Church as usual get not continue even when this pandemic ends. A re-definition of our perception and or imagining of Church is now happening, whether we like it or want it or not. Now is not the time anymore for us to lament and moan about what we should have done... whatever we are doing now is how we are shaping our new normal of being Church. I urge us however to never loose contact with each other. The Church in my opinion ceases to be Church if we lose contact. Finding ways to share our lives with each other is crucial. We are Church... Now... in this time... for this time... 

I remember a time when HIV/AIDS first hit us… The Church said… WE ARE HIV POSITIVE – THE CHURCH HAS AIDS. We said this based on our theology that says that if one suffers, we all suffer. So, what is different now?

Whatever the pandemic, whatever the condition we are all in it and if we are going to survive it… we must do it together. We must never loose each other

To be a Christian Church Community in any time means to belong to Christ and each other… To know Christ, live Christ and to make His love known to all.

The prison of grief

Google says that A prison is, "a building in which people are legally held as a punishment for a crime they have committed or while awaiting trial."

Sometimes I think of grieving in term of this. Thou grieving doesn't have physical walls or bars keeping you captive it certainly claims legal right to punish you and restrain your movement and capacity. Sometimes I think that it is safer not to love... for the punishment of love seems to be life in the prison of grief. We grieve because we love... 

So, shall we rather not love, just to avoid the pain and "punishment" of grief? I beg not... The reward of love outweighs the darkness of grief any day. Love always has more light in it, than what grieving can bring.  The key, I think, is to remember love...

And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:13 NRSV

I always have a choice between living the depression of my grief or the joy of the love I shared with my baby boy. what if that is how we get released from prison... by filling our lives with love... the love of memories shared, and new moments created... The challenge is not to try and replace the pain of grief but to enjoy the moments of love. Love shared is forever! No sorrow, no pain, no depression, nothing should overwhelm the LOVE we share. For a moment wanted to say the love we shared, in fact I think I did... BUT I think love should always be in the present tense. 

John (in the Bible) says that God is love. Scripture teaches me that God is the same (yesterday, today and tomorrow), which means to me that love is always the same. My son (Judah) is my son even though he died (WHY DO I STILL FIND IT HARD TO SAY THAT HE DIED????) so our love is our love no matter what or where. 

Everyday there's an instant or two or three and sometimes ten… that I feel imprisoned by grief, but love always sets me free. Sometimes it is the loving touch of my wife (Desiree) or the bright and loud laughter of the kids (Jathni-el and Jeriah). Other times it is the gentle hello of a caring friend that inquires "are you ok?" Today it was the realization that God is love.

"...Love has set me free

Love has set me free

You're my rest

The shelter from the storm

Peace will come for me

You're my strength

When I am weak you are strong

Your hope will be the song I sing

You're holding me

You're everything that I need

You are rescuing

Your grace is enough for me

It's all I need

Love has set me free

Love has set me free.."

Last Night was tough... BUT

One of the hardest things for me to do is to admit that I am in over my head. My uncle has a saying that goes something like this. "We are Pedro... P E D R... O and we Pedros fear no trial or foe" (I made it a little child friendly 😉). 

My Mommy taught me that I can do all things through Christ that strengthen me, and my Daddy taught to never be afraid to admit my wrong and to try again (this I struggle with a lot a little).

I mean... It is a tough thing to do... Admit that you don't have it all together. I like to say I won or at the very least that I survived... I came out on top.

For the last year and a half I tried to fool myself into thinking that I have this grief thing figured out😬. I mean as a Pastor I preach at funerals, I counsel families in grief... I go for counseling myself (sometimes). So yes, I have a handle on things. Or do I? Shouldn't I? You see I have gotten good at talking about grief and accepting that it is a life process that we have to deal with and live with... BUT I have been avoiding my true journey with grief.

It is easy to talk about grieving without actually grieving💔. I have somehow managed to put my grief on hold... to my own detriment I have avoided grieving whilst talking and even helping others to grieve. This is where I need to confess. I somehow thought of myself as a super hero in grieving... WHAT A JOKE... This type of thinking is counter productive to grieving and not helpful at all.

As  I mentioned before... All I have, to help me deal with life and life's mishaps and crisis is my Faith and my Theology. So here is my latest attempt at doing Theology in the context of my grieving... 

Let's start with where I am at. The Psalmist say "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." This means to me that God is with me, but also that God will save me. The problem I think that existed in my thinking was my understanding of  being "SAVED". I tend to think of being saved in the sense of "all things and the traces of all things bad, sad or destructive being erased". In Sunday's Gospel reading about Thomas... He insisted in wanting to see and feel Jesus' scares. He couldn't imagine a Resurrection without the scares of the Crucifixion. This makes sense to me, even though I would have preferred a "less messy" Theology. A Resurrection without the scares of the Crucifixion is fairy tale... A nice story to tell without the evidence to back it up. 

Every year (and in every moment of grief) my family and I re-tell and re-live that horrible day... but we are left with the evidence of our faith growing stronger in an ever-present God that's ever faithful, even when we think God not to be. 

So I am Wiltim Roger Roberto PEDRO. P, E, D, R ... O. We Pedro's fear no trial or foe, cause we Pedro's have faith that even though we stumble and fall our God is Faithful and True to carry us through. Yes, we get wrong sometimes but God gets it right every time.