SUKKEL-VOORT - LIVING WITH GRIEF

Jathni-el, (my gift from God)  I am counting the hours now until you embark on this incredible journey…     Ek wou nog altyd ‘n dogter gehad het. My eie stukkie perfeksie. The plan was that I would hold you close, protect you from every evil and have you with me all the time… maar dit werk mos nie so nie.     As a parent all I could do was to devote my life to preparing you for independence, teaching you to make your own decisions… To put your faith in God and pursue your passion. This I tried to do to the best of my abilities.     NOW, when the moment arrives to release you and let you venture beyond my comfort zone, it feels as though I must set up a blockade to hold you forever in my arms. Smaak en kan n time-out call… Sê, 'tyd staan stil ek wil nie my Princess laat gaan nie…' But the truth is, all I can do is hold you in my heart and place you in God's loving arms.   Daddy's Princess, as you pursue your missionary calling, I pray you discover ...

I have come to realize that tragedy and strife often cause us to reflect and re-evaluate. I have had a bit of time to relook and reimagine life and faith. I have come to some kind of certainty that it is time for us (the Church) to have an honest conversation about the nature of our being and ministry. It is time for us to recognize and step up to the fact that the ministry and faith that we live and proclaim are not about our selfish needs and desires. As a Church, we are called to a higher purpose, a mission that extends beyond our personal desires and ambitions. The concept of the Missio Dei, the Mission of God, should shape and guide our understanding of ministry and faith. It is a concept that transcends our individual aspirations and egos. When we truly embrace the Missio Dei, we come to understand that our mission is not about building our own kingdoms or satisfying our personal agendas. It is about participating in the larger work of God in the world. As we reflect on the omnip...

My dear son Judah, born so small and sweet. Your presence in our lives was such a blessing. Today would have been your tenth year on Earth, but instead of celebrating your presence, we celebrate your precious worth.  You were certainly gone too soon. My heart still aches, my soul still sinks. I miss your laughter, your smile, your touch. I miss you so much, my heart hurts so much.  Your short life made a lasting impact, it's true, you taught me more than I ever taught you.  You showed me the strength in a smile and you'll forever be my baby boy.  I wish I could hold you, just one more time... Tell you I love you, that you are mine, but instead, I'll hold you in my heart each day.  I'll cherish the memories in every way...  My dear son Judah, I miss you So, but in my heart, your spirit will always live. I will smile today... I will step out courageous... In memory of you.  Happy 10th birthday, my precious boy. You'll forever bring me love, light, and jo...

 https://we.tl/t-TrTOkYpLpQ?src=dnl

Recently, I was reminded of a question I heard when I got appointed to my first Congregation (maybe I should say first group of congregations  🙈  that is a story for another day). The question was, "Would the community notice if your Congregation closed in the Community". It raises the question as to your congregation’s effectiveness and or relevance in the community that it is situated in. Should we be concerned with being effective or relevant in the community? I hear people say all the time, "Stop going to Church, Be Church". Sounds nice, but what does it mean and how does that mentality or state of being influence the Communities in which we serve. Should it effect or influence the community? One of my favourite quotes is by Henri Nouwen, "The great illusion of leadership is to think that man can be led out of the desert by someone who has never been there." Sounds like a nice thing to say or maybe even a good excuse not to be led by ot...

Google says that A prison is, "a building in which people are legally held as a punishment for a crime they have committed or while awaiting trial." Sometimes I think of grieving in term of this. Thou grieving doesn't have physical walls or bars keeping you captive it certainly claims legal right to punish you and restrain your movement and capacity. Sometimes I think that it is safer not to love... for the punishment of love seems to be life in the prison of grief. We grieve because we love...  So, shall we rather not love, just to avoid the pain and "punishment" of grief? I beg not... The reward of love outweighs the darkness of grief any day. Love always has more light in it, than what grieving can bring.  The key, I think, is to remember love... And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13 NRSV I always have a choice between living the depression of my grief or ...

One of the hardest things for me to do is to admit that I am in over my head. My uncle has a saying that goes something like this. "We are Pedro... P E D R... O and we Pedros fear no trial or foe" (I made it a little child friendly 😉).  My Mommy taught me that  I can do all things through Christ that strengthen me , and my Daddy taught to  never be afraid to admit my wrong and to try again  (this I struggle with a lot a little ) . I mean... It is a tough thing to do... Admit that you don't have it all together. I like to say I won or at the very least that I survived... I came out on top. For the last year and a half I tried to fool myself into thinking that I have this grief thing figured out 😬 . I mean as a Pastor I preach at funerals, I counsel families in grief... I go for counseling myself (sometimes). So yes, I have a handle on things. Or do I? Shouldn't I? You see I have gotten good at talking about grief and accepting that it is ...