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The prison of grief

Google says that A prison is, "a building in which people are legally held as a punishment for a crime they have committed or while awaiting trial."

Sometimes I think of grieving in term of this. Thou grieving doesn't have physical walls or bars keeping you captive it certainly claims legal right to punish you and restrain your movement and capacity. Sometimes I think that it is safer not to love... for the punishment of love seems to be life in the prison of grief. We grieve because we love... 

So, shall we rather not love, just to avoid the pain and "punishment" of grief? I beg not... The reward of love outweighs the darkness of grief any day. Love always has more light in it, than what grieving can bring.  The key, I think, is to remember love...

And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13 NRSV

I always have a choice between living the depression of my grief or the joy of the love I shared with my baby boy. what if that is how we get released from prison... by filling our lives with love... the love of memories shared, and new moments created... The challenge is not to try and replace the pain of grief but to enjoy the moments of love. Love shared is forever! No sorrow, no pain, no depression, nothing should overwhelm the LOVE we share. For a moment wanted to say the love we shared, in fact I think I did... BUT I think love should always be in the present tense. 

John (in the Bible) says that God is love. Scripture teaches me that God is the same (yesterday, today and tomorrow), which means to me that love is always the same. My son (Judah) is my son even though he died (WHY DO I STILL FIND IT HARD TO SAY THAT HE DIED????) so our love is our love no matter what or where. 


Everyday there's an instant or two or three and sometimes ten… that I feel imprisoned by grief, but love always sets me free. Sometimes it is the loving touch of my wife (Desiree) or the bright and loud laughter of the kids (Jathni-el and Jeriah). Other times it is the gentle hello of a caring friend that inquires "are you ok?" Today it was the realization that God is love.

"...Love has set me free
Love has set me free
You're my rest
The shelter from the storm
Peace will come for me
You're my strength
When I am weak you are strong
Your hope will be the song I sing
You're holding me
You're everything that I need
You are rescuing
Your grace is enough for me
It's all I need
Love has set me free

Love has set me free.."

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