Psalm 55:6
And I say, “Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest;(ESV)
Today I felt like
running away. I felt the pain was just unbearable. How will I ever shake this
pain? If only I had wings to fly away.
I attended our Church
Synod and part of the meeting was the celebration of the call of people in the ministry of
word and sacrament. As I was listening to a young man articulate his calling
into the ministry it dawned on me that I might never be able to articulate the
real sense of brokenness I feel inside of me, but one thing that I know beyond
a shadow of a doubt is that my God is with me. It is He who called me to touch
the lives of others... even if it is only in my brokenness. Henri Nouwen
writes, “The man who articulate the movements of his inner life, who can
give names to his varied experiences, need no longer be a victim of himself,
but is able slowly and consistently to remove the obstacles that prevent the
spirit from entering. He is able to create space for Him whose heart is greater
than his, whose eyes see more than his, and whose hands can heal more than
his.” (The Wounded
Healer: Ministry in Contemporary Society)
So here I end my day
with tears flowing down my cheeks, coming to terms with the brokenness that is
in and around me. Brokenness that I might never be able to understand or
explain completely, yet I will endeavour to no longer be a
victim, allowing my tears to be the balm that will bring some healing for
others... The Lord being my helper!
So I end my thoughts
today with the thoughts of Henri Nouwen, "The great illusion of
leadership is to think that man can be led out of the desert by someone who has
never been there."
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