Finding Purpose

I am sitting at the hospital were Judah was born. My heart ♥ remembers this place very fondly. This is, for me, a place of hope... Or at least it use to be. Now, however, it simply reminds me of what I have lost... For the last week or two I have been struggling with going home... Because that is where we lost Judah. I am constantly reminded of what I no longer have in my life.

As I write this, my mind and my heart disagrees with each other... and I am not really sure which is which but,  the one that knows better is saying, "This is not right... We cannot afford to lose happy moments from our lives. Places of hope and joy must become more, not less... Redeem! Redeem these moments! Redemption is necessary."

I like this thought and I want nothing more, but how realistic is this idea? The question is, "How do we redeem these moments... How do we keep the positive places happy? How can we ever expect to live in the midst of death? This for me becomes the key... Discovering the answer to these questions, in my humble opinion, will go a long way in coming to terms with our loss, thus redeeming these precious moments in our lives...

My wife seems to think that it is all about finding a purpose in the chaos. If we can somehow find something good and bring that to life then we can redeem this whole experience... I can agree with this as long as it does not become about finding a reason why this had to happen... I think that it's important to differentiate between finding purpose and looking for a reason. Finding purpose in the chaos and pain I believe brings meaning and hope, whilst looking for a reason seeks to assign blame.

Finding purpose in this chaos is absolutely essential... So... pray for my family and I (and the countless others struggling with grief) as we seek to find purpose and meaning. The path to purpose and meaning, I think is not easy, partly because of the great value we assign to the ones we have lost, but also because it is so much easier to assign blame. We often blame ourselves or others because the alternative is so much harder.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 English Standard Version (ESV)