The Easton's Bible Dictionary defines Judah the following way:
Praise, the fourth son of Jacob by
Leah. The name originated in Leah's words of praise to the Lord on account of
his birth: "Now will I praise [Heb. odeh] Jehovah, and she called his name
Yehudah" ( Genesis 29:35 ).
I remember
the day we found out about Judah (that we were expecting him). It was a great
surprise... But I could certainly identify with Leah. God is worthy of
praise!!! The day we brought him home was even better. Indeed he not
just brought joy into our lives, but he also seemed to draw us closer to God.
His birth was our journey back... our second chance.
Today I
sit here missing him like never before. I wonder whether or not I have it in me
to Praise again... I read an article this morning that stated, "Grief
rearranged my life. There is a lot of decisions to make now". This is
exactly how I feel. Everyday is a decision to live... to get out of bed, search
for hope and face the day.
Judah...
for me... used to mean "praise to God", but has now become "depend on God"... depend
on God more and more. This is the best I can do at the moment and it will have
to do. No more pretending, no more masks. Just me, depending on God every
moment of every day!
So I ask
myself the question, "How can Praise bring Pain?" the only answer I have is that
it can not! Or can it? Should it? Would it? I don't know... but this is what I
know... My God is faithful and can bring forth praise from pain;
right now I might not know it... I might not see it... But this pain can
only give birth to awesome praise...
Today is
especially painful... I feel paralysed by the pain. I am not
sure how I got out of bed this morning or if I will make it through the
day. But my faith has taught me that no matter how dark the
nights are the day is sure to come. That no matter how heavy my heart might
be... Jesus is strong enough to carry it all. I know it sound like
sensationalistic and over-simplistic, but this is all I have left for today.
What
else is there to do when praise has died and only pain remain? As I write this
I got a simple message from my wife, "... we are in this together."
Immediately I was reminded that after all what remains is LOVE.
Love will overcome this pain! Love will restore my Praise in God! Love will conquer all!
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