SUKKEL-VOORT - LIVING WITH GRIEF

I don’t particularly enjoy what I’m about to share, but I believe it’s an essential truth to confront. One of my Heroes of Faith and in Ministry is the Rev. John Wesley. He once said, “Holy solitaries' is a phrase no more consistent with the Gospel than holy adulterers. The Gospel of Christ knows no religion but social; no holiness but social holiness.” Wesley emphasized that Christianity—and by implication, Ministry—is inherently relational. Ministers are not meant to operate in isolation but within a supportive Community. Loss doesn’t only occur when loved ones pass away; it happens as we navigate life itself . Having served as a Pastor for the past 24 years, I've come to realize that alongside the steadfast pillars of Faith and Family, another constant companion in ministry life is the all too familiar feeling of loss. The Ministry of Word and Sacraments demands sacrifices that few outside this calling truly understand. Perhaps the most painful sacrifice is the contin...

Sometimes I think I underestimate the trauma caused by grief and or loss. The loss of a loved one leads us to question our beliefs about the nature of humanity, the meaning of life, and the role of God… Our sense of security is often shattered . We tend to    feel helpless, vulnerable, and often defeated. Trauma is often defined by experts as a distressing or disturbing experience. It is disruptive and often disillusioning, causing us to question and even doubt things we once perceived as obvious and normal. Grief, especially when it follows a traumatic loss (By the way, I think, any loss is traumatic in its own way ), can be particularly challenging. Traumatic bereavement occurs when the natural grieving process is disrupted due to the traumatic nature of the death, leading to intense emotions like fear, anxiety, guilt, anger, or shame. A loss of any kind can shatter our assumptions about the world, making it seem unpredictable and unsafe. It often leads to ruminations a...

I have the honor and privilege, granted by the grace of God, to play a small part in caring for my Dad. A little more than a year ago, Daddy was diagnosed with cancer and declared terminal by doctors. I cherish the opportunity to sit by Daddy’s bedside from time to time. I do not consider this a small thing; it is truly a privilege that not many get to experience. As I sat next to Daddy’s bed last night, watching him wrestle in his sleep, I found myself reflecting on my Daddy’s battle with cancer. A whirlwind of emotions overwhelm me. Memories of my mother’s illness, when I was just 15 years old, flooded back, my Mother in-laws passing less then 2 months ago reminds me of life’s fragility and the weight of grief.  Both Mom and  Mommy fought bravely against the challenges of their sicknesses but eventually succumbed due to complications related to their sicknesses. As a son, I witnessed their strength and faith firsthand. Now, facing the possibility of losing my father, I f...

The Power of Perception: How Our Understanding of God Shapes Our Values and Theology I have heard it said that hurting people hurt people… in my 20+ years ministering with and alongside people, especially the hurting, I found this statement more true then I would want it to be. I find it unfortunate that many of these hurts stem from our perceptions that God or God's people have caused us pain. As human beings, we seem to be constantly grappling with the question of God's existence and the nature of the Divine. Even the Atheist seem to be saying that I can’t believe in a cruel God that claims to be loving… I further found that this crucial wrestling often defines how we perceive ourselves and our significance in this world. Our ideas about God profoundly impact everything we do—how we live, how we treat others, and the choices we continue to make. I’ve always found the illustration of Dropping a pebble in a pond, it illustrates how small (or even traumatic) changes in our per...

Jathni-el, (my gift from God)  I am counting the hours now until you embark on this incredible journey…     Ek wou nog altyd ‘n dogter gehad het. My eie stukkie perfeksie. The plan was that I would hold you close, protect you from every evil and have you with me all the time… maar dit werk mos nie so nie.     As a parent all I could do was to devote my life to preparing you for independence, teaching you to make your own decisions… To put your faith in God and pursue your passion. This I tried to do to the best of my abilities.     NOW, when the moment arrives to release you and let you venture beyond my comfort zone, it feels as though I must set up a blockade to hold you forever in my arms. Smaak en kan n time-out call… Sê, 'tyd staan stil ek wil nie my Princess laat gaan nie…' But the truth is, all I can do is hold you in my heart and place you in God's loving arms.   Daddy's Princess, as you pursue your missionary calling, I pray you discover ...

I have come to realize that tragedy and strife often cause us to reflect and re-evaluate. I have had a bit of time to relook and reimagine life and faith. I have come to some kind of certainty that it is time for us (the Church) to have an honest conversation about the nature of our being and ministry. It is time for us to recognize and step up to the fact that the ministry and faith that we live and proclaim are not about our selfish needs and desires. As a Church, we are called to a higher purpose, a mission that extends beyond our personal desires and ambitions. The concept of the Missio Dei, the Mission of God, should shape and guide our understanding of ministry and faith. It is a concept that transcends our individual aspirations and egos. When we truly embrace the Missio Dei, we come to understand that our mission is not about building our own kingdoms or satisfying our personal agendas. It is about participating in the larger work of God in the world. As we reflect on the omnip...

My dear son Judah, born so small and sweet. Your presence in our lives was such a blessing. Today would have been your tenth year on Earth, but instead of celebrating your presence, we celebrate your precious worth.  You were certainly gone too soon. My heart still aches, my soul still sinks. I miss your laughter, your smile, your touch. I miss you so much, my heart hurts so much.  Your short life made a lasting impact, it's true, you taught me more than I ever taught you.  You showed me the strength in a smile and you'll forever be my baby boy.  I wish I could hold you, just one more time... Tell you I love you, that you are mine, but instead, I'll hold you in my heart each day.  I'll cherish the memories in every way...  My dear son Judah, I miss you So, but in my heart, your spirit will always live. I will smile today... I will step out courageous... In memory of you.  Happy 10th birthday, my precious boy. You'll forever bring me love, light, and jo...