Help me get over myself

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I was reading Exodus 33... Thinking, Yoh! this Moses has got courage. I wish I had this amount of courage. Courage to demand a face-to-face with the Lord. Then I realized its not that I don't want a meeting with the Lord, it is really that I am afraid of what it might reveal about myself.

It's not that I am afraid that God might find something the matter in my life, but rather that God might say, "its OK my son, I blame you not". Somehow I feel like I need to blamed, punished even!!! That me feeling guilt or pain somehow makes it OK for Judah not to be here with us. I know its silly... nothing will ever be able to justify the LOSS that we have experienced as a family 

Help me Lord That I might get over myself and find you! Wont You do as you did with Moses and cover me with your hand so that I might see Your Glory and not just my own ego or need to be in control.

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