Monday, 1 June 2015

I can't sleep


I have always prayed this prayed, but never really meant it as much as I do right now. You see... I have been lying here for the last hour trying to fall off to sleep. Before this I watched tv... Tried to read my Bible (I must admit I struggle with that at the moment - maybe I shouldn't have said that, but I am trying to be real) and took a rescue tablet, but nothing. I am still lying here trying to explain to myself that... It will be OK. Eventually I will learn to live life again.

There was a moment tonight when life made sense. A fleeting moment. It was when I led the worship service at Church. In that moment I felt like I had the courage to face the pain and experience some joy.

But now I lay here wondering what happened to the strength? Where did the courage disappear to? Will I ever get through this?

Whoever you are reading this blabber of grief, please say a prayer for me... Thank you for sharing in my pain.

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